Run, Wolf Warrior, Run
by FeistyDreams
Summary: Songfic to Run, Wolf Warrior, Run. Sousuke reflects on his life, what he now wants from it, and his lack of knowledge on how to get it.


**AN: I've always loved the Wolf's Rain soundtrack, and when I pulled it out of storage and started listening to it, I felt as though the lyrics and even the sound of the some of the songs fit Sousuke pretty well. And this is what happened.**

**(same note as on Stray)  
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Run, Wolf Warrior, Run**

Sousuke had a growing appreciation for music since meeting Kaname. She did not much approve of his tastes, preferring happier tunes to his solemn. It fit them, though. He was a solemn person where she was upbeat and always looking to the positive side of things. As long as he was not being _otaku_, anyways.

One of Kazama's friends had lent him the soundtrack to an anime called _Wolf's Rain_, and the boy, knowing Sousuke was trying to broaden his horizons, had copied it and given it to him. The music fit him well, he thought, and he enjoyed it very much. He liked music with lyrics he could relate to.

It was a lazy day for him, a rarity. Kaname had gone to visit her family in New York, and since he had to be on call, he stayed in Japan. With no missions or trainings, he was given complete free time in Tokyo. So, he decided to do some thinking. It would do him no harm to think on his life and compare who he was to who he is.

His past was not as painful to him as one might think. At the time he experienced it, it was all he knew. He never had any idea that there might be those with peaceful lives, filled with love and family and warmth. Since he had never known those things, he could not miss them. Others often felt sorry for him when they heard about his past, but it did not bother him at all.

No, the only thing that bothered him about his past was that his lack of normal experiences made it hard for him to interact with his classmates. Well, no, not that, he did not much care what his classmates thought of him. It was his interactions with Kaname that he wished could go better.

It had only been recently, but he had come to admit to himself that he cared deeply for the girl. The problem was that he did not know how to go about expressing these feelings, or if he even should. The only things he could do for her were to never lie to her and to always protect her. That protection extended to everything she held dear, as he did not want her to suffer any more loss.

He sighed and hit the play button on his stereo, settling down to listen to the song and do some thinking. Perhaps it would help him with his current problem, if he could work through the cause.

_//Run, wolf warrior, to ends eternal_

_Through the wreckage of the death of the day//_

That one was too easy. Up until meeting Kaname, that truly was all he ever had to look forward to. Always carrying on, always moving through death. It was not until Mithril that he had been able to experience any days free of killing or running for his life.

_//Scent of silence under starlight spinning_

_A captured beast within a human skin//_

Orphaned at age two or three or so, no record of his name, he was put into the Russian state orphanages. From there, adopted into the KGB program for child soldiers, he had never known the warmth of a family. The closest he had gotten was the Afghani guerrilla fighters that had taken him under wing.

He had to admit, in many ways, he was not human. He did not know what it meant to be human. In essence, he completely lacked an identity. No date of birth. No record of the only name he knew meant it likely was not even his name. No family.

Sousuke sighed, thinking of his life not even five years earlier. Still just a boy, he had wandered from country to country, looking for work in the only occupation he knew. Fighting. Killing. It was all he was good for.

He certainly was not a human then. He did not have any humanity.

_//Are you searching for long lost landscapes_

_Lit by flowers and crystal cascades?//_

What had he been searching for? Somehow, his life had brought him back to Japan, the land of his birth. Or, he assumed it was the land of his birth. He was undoubtedly Japanese, in any event.

It was very beautiful to him, in Tokyo. Peaceful. Innocent. It lured him in, completely captivating him. He knew it was changing him, too. He had been seduced by the life he had been cheated of early in life.

_//Where the lamb lies down with the lion_

_Where the wolf is one with the wild//_

He gave pause at that line. Was he the lion and Kaname the lamb? He had found this place as essentially a wild animal, and had been tamed by its docile inhabitants. Well, perhaps docile was not the best word to describe one Chidori Kaname, but when compared to all in the life he had known before, it fit.

The last bit was what he strived for. To be able to fit in, here in this place he had unknowingly been looking for, and finally found. He was not 'one with the wild' here. He wished he knew how to be.

_//Run, wolf warrior, through kingdoms' chaos_

_Senseless cities and ghost towns towering//_

That one rang true with him as well as the first line. He had been running from war to war, never understanding the people in the cities he had come across.

He had seen his fair share of ghost towns.

He had created his fair share, too.

_//Howl, O hunter, though few know you're crying_

_Face upturned into that midnight moon//_

That one felt too right for his own comfort. He could not remember the last time he had cried. He did not know if he was even capable of it. The only times he could remember even wanting to cry was when he had been ordered away from Kaname. And then when he had been told she was dead.

He did not cry, though. Instead, he became bitter at the world. Every bit of his life that had given him the smallest bit of pleasure had been taken from him, time and time again. That was how he felt. Did anyone see through his hate to notice that he had been crying inside?

Even he did not realize it until this moment now.

_//Are you hunting for mystic mountains_

_Where the air is like liquid laughter?//_

Another line he could use to describe his discovery, of sorts, of Tokyo. The mountains of Japan certainly had a mystic quality that he would not attribute to the mountains of Afghanistan. Kaname filled his life with laughter, and he hoped some day he would grow enough to be able to laugh with her.

_//Where the beasts inherit the earth_

_Where the last again will be first//_

Those words made him think back to Afghanistan. They had lost the war against Russia, but perhaps one day they would win back their land. He hoped they did. Perhaps, if he were contacted by any of his surviving comrades, he would go to their aid. It had been the first place he had considered home, and he wanted it back in its rightful hands.

_//Run, wolf warrior, to hide your hunger_

_The rain will wash away the pains of the day//_

How many days had he spent hungry? How many kinds of hunger had he experienced?

Hunger for food.

Hunger for camaraderie.

Hunger for love, even.

Rain always made him feel better, he had to admit. At first, it was because it made his work as a guerrilla easier. Rain meant water to drink. Rain also meant worms and other sources of food would be easier to find and catch. Over time, because of all the positive things he associated rain with, it had come to have a comforting effect.

_//In your eyes there are cold fires burning_

_Tongues of flame that can never be tamed//_

Gauron had said that his eyes were those of a saint. That he had no contradictions. He had not cared about life or death, not his own or those of anyone else. Life had no real meaning to him then, no value.

He did not think that was completely true. He had contradictions.

If he had no contradictions, if he were so completely predictable, then how would he have ever survived so long?

No, he had a fire in him. Especially now, now that life had meaning to him.

And no one would keep him down. No one would stop him from guarding _her_ life.

_//Are you running from Man's delusion_

_Majestic madness and your exclusion_

_To where the lamb lies down with the lion?//_

He actually grinned at that line. Men were certainly delusional. It was like a game to them, who was more important than whom, while none of them had any real importance in the grand scheme of things.

'Majestic madness' was certainly an apt way of describing human kind in general. They made a grand show of doing the most insane things. Sadly, he was not excluded from this. He would definitely put war in that category, and he had more than his share of experience with it.

It may have been all he had ever known, but he was beginning to feel it was too much. If only it could come to an end.

_//Are you running down ancient pathways_

_Through this dark and deserted land_

_To where man is once more a child?//_

He thought back to his childhood. The only ancient, dark, and deserted places he had ever been had made him, a child, into a man.

Well, perhaps not, not completely. It had not been until he had fought for his right to stay in Tokyo that Kalinin had said he had the eyes of a man. He would know, after all, they had been running into each other since the day he had pulled Sousuke from the icy waters that would have been his grave.

Though, he certainly felt as if he had been made a man far too soon.

_//Are you running to freedom's fortress_

_By the side of wide open seas_

_Where the wolf is one with the wild?//_

Yes, he thought, yes he was. Here, he was freer than he could ever remember in his entire life. He was surrounded by the sea, too, living on an island country.

Perhaps, one day, he really could belong here.

It would only be with Kaname's help though.

And he only wanted to do it for her.  


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**Run, Wolf Warrior, Run**

**Vocal: Joyce**

**Music: Yoko Kanno**

**Lyrics: Chris Mosdell  
**


End file.
